Hi, How'dy, How are ya?

Welcome to "The Country Schoolmarm"! Get yourself a cup of coffee (I take mine strong with vanilla creamer), grab a seat, and chat a while! Isn't that what country friends do? Now, all we need is a porch...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Ugly, The Bad, and The Good plus Albert Einstein...

You should now hear old-time, spaghetti western theme songs.  Maybe you visualize Clint Eastwood.  You can keep the theme music, but our main character is- my toilet!

 Here is The Ugly: the handle I snapped off the toilet (BUT, in my defense, it WAS in a weakened state)... 

The Bad: Then, check out my creative repairs!  A little pull handle!  I considered wrapping it with homespun, but that would probably not be sanitary.  This was just a temporary fix until I had time to go to the hardware store anyway.  I emailed my creative fix to my dad, who is also a creative fixer.  And, as much as he may have thought it was creative, my repair just would not do.  

The Good: So, since my husband was working, my dad and I had wonderful father and daughter time picking out a new toilet handle! Shiny and new.  On a 14 year old toilet, it's like putting lipstick on a pig.  Oh, well!
Couch Pillows
The Queen's Pillow
     Okay, here is a commercial- This commercial is for flour sack pillows!  You can get vintage flour sacks pretty cheaply. The well-worn, cotton ones are usually nice and soft.  You can stick a regular bed pillow in, slip-stich it shut, and WAAALAAH- a flour sack pillow.  Since they come in various sizes, I have used standard sized pillows to king-sized ones.  They are great for the couch and floor!   I made two for our couch because the back of our couch is rather low.  It gives you something to lean your head against, or hit misbehaving hubbies with (I would NEVER do that.) The one in the picture below is a king-sized one. It was meant for my husband because he likes to lie on the floor.  However, Bailey, has commandeered it.  As soon as Steve leaves it for even a second, she is on it like a bear on honey!

Okay, our second break for station identification- An Anne of Green Gables moment, brought to you by the "Rollings Reliable Baking Powder Company":
     I don't know how I do these things.  Somehow, I joined my own blog (I am number 21) by accident.  Now, I see my posts with your post feeds.  How do I make it stop and un-join my own blog?  Please help!

Finally, our last program is a horror flick (at least in my mind it is...)
Albert Einstein once said that, "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
     So, my husband and I were swimming in our pool around dusk about a month ago.  We have done it many, many times because my husband gets home later, and it is a good way to chat and decompress (Awwwww...).  Well, one night, I noticed a bat fly from one tree to another on the other neighbor's property. "Hey, did you see that bat?" I asked. We've seen bats before here and there.  No big deal (Cue foreboding music).

      Suddenly, out of  NOWHERE, the bat starts dive bombing us, skimming the water and heading right for us.  We tried to swim for the ladder, but he keeps swooping between us and our escape route.  I was struggling up the ladder, but it kept coming after me, so I would duck back into the pool.  In my mind, I was thinking, "Really, Mr. Bat, you must think pretty much of yourself to think, 'I am tired of grasshoppers- that's child's play.  I think I'll take down a human.'" And the bad thing was, with all of the screaming by us (yes, my brave husband was screaming too), we were easy targets for said bat to echo locate.  The sad thing we learned was that if we were ever attacked by anything, and screamed for help, none of our neighbors would bother to check on us.  That's a reassuring thing to tuck away for later...

     Well, finally, we made it inside.  My husband literally dragged me out of the pool. It was like those caveman cartoons where the caveman is dragging the cavewoman by her hair. We were huffing and puffing and laughing at ourselves.  It seemed like something from a movie with Chevy Chase or John Candy.

     But wait!  That's not the insanity part...  Last night, we went out again around dusk.  No bat.  And, believe you me, I was watching!  It started getting darker and- no bat.  I started easing up a bit until my husband smacked the water next to me trying to scare me into thinking that the bat had splashed down (We pause now for a hubby beatin'). I said to him, "Maybe the bat thing was a fluke?"  Hubby said, "Maybe Bailey is scaring him off." (Ok. So, no disrespect to my husband, but the dog is barely 10 lbs.  The bat would go for her first as an appetizer. And, she'd be no help at all.  You saw the picture above!  What a mushpot!  But, I digress...)

     Now, and learn from this, you know when people say things like that in movies? Things such as, "Maybe the zombies are gone!" They always show up and eat everyone.  Okay, gross analogy.  Well, it's like saying the Titanic is unsinkable.  Things like that.  No more than two breaths after I said that, down came the brown bat (and I am not talking about the little ones, I mean the medium-sized ones.  Vampire kinds.  I think it had red eyes and big fangs.  Really.). We were ducking like nobody's business!

     We researched this bat thing after the first episode, and the research said you can get bats around your pool if you don't skim your pool often.  Yeah, that's not the reason.  This bat has a "V" for vendetta on his back.  We looked outside many nights at the pool area- no bats.  So, we ran inside like Dracula was right behind us.  When we got insde, I said, "You know what Albert Einstein said about insanity?"  My husband's answer was that we were only insane if we went out again. And I am telling you, I am not about to plead insanity any time soon.  No way!


  1. You are so funny! You put a smile on my face and made me chuckle. Glad you got your potty fixed. :) Dads can come to the rescue huh? OMG...the bat story is CRAZY! You would not be able to pay me to go back out to that pool at dusk. NO WAY! Glad you escaped with no injuries! Ha!

  2. Dads do come to the rescue, even when you are 38 years old (But I think Dads like that). I do still like learning from him on how to fix things! The pull thingy was still there when my husband came home. I was so excited! I asked him if he had seen it. He just answered, "Oh, I thought you weren't finished yet." "But it works! If you pull it, the toilet flushes!" He was not impressed, so I immediately went in and installed the real thing. Ugh! At least the new one is ALL metal. That should be a sturdy one!

    The bat thing- I know!!! It is crazy! I was really scared! I have never seen a bat do that. Even when we were outside playing as kids- at dusk, they never made a run for your head!!! The only thing my husband and I can think of is that last year, our solar flickering tiki torches were still working. I don't know. I am sad because it was nice to float out there and watch the first stars come out at night.

    Thank you for commenting, Holly! It is so good to talk to you! I am glad you got a chuckle! Have a wonderful day! I hope this finds you well!


"Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." - Proverbs 16:24

Let's chat! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas!