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Friday, August 3, 2012

Break it and remake it... The Six Million Dollar Man Project

     You know the old adage " If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? That phrase doesn't belong in Prim decorating, does it?  Even if something isn't broken, we sand, stain, tear, and "grungify" it. I don't know how many times I look at something and say, "Oh, that  HAS to be tea stained!"  We put on fake patches and real patches.  We stitch clumsily even though we can stitch in a straight line (Well, maybe not me, but most people.).  We put dates from the past. We put nicks into wood. We do anything to simulate dirt, use, patina from ages past even though you just bought it new at Hobby Lobby a half of an hour ago! 

     Well, I did break something and fix it (A real shocker in my household).  Ok, so you know those hollow pillar candles with the grungy little battery tea light on the inside?  They are a must-have in any primitive home.  Well, I had two sconces that I had painted black (My favorite anchor color). I distressed them, painted the one with a combing technique. I was so excited to hang them and light them up.  I had one pillar candle and needed another.  So, off I traipsed to the local craft store that carried them.  I got it home and was unwrapping it.  AND, *GASP*, it slipped from my hand about an inch about the counter and broke into several pieces.  Before I continue, I thought they were made of resin, not thin wax.  So a caveat to myself, and everyone else, is even an inch drop can kill one.  Ok, so back to the story.  

     I looked with despair at my new purchase.  I started muttering to myself, "It's okay, it's okay.  I can fix this."  I looked upon my poor broken candle like Oscar Goldman looked at the potential of making the Six Million Dollar Man "Better...than he was before."  Out came the white glue.  I hovered above my "patient" trying to decide on my best approach to piecing it back together. It didn't help that the bottom was split in two.  I finally decided to build from the bottom up.  Um, white glue was not the best choice.  It was slimy, slow to dry, and I'd move one piece and another would pop out.  Finally, I got it together.  I let it dry (trying to avoid the temptation to touch it).  After it had dried, I surveyed my work.  It was awful.  I mean, Dr. Frankenstein's project looked better.  Errr.  Now what?  

     Well, what if I rolled it in spices and my faithful friend, instant coffee?  So with a lot of Modge Podge, brown, sticky fingers, and well, a big ol' mess, I had a grungy pillar candle.  Yea!  I cleaned up my mess and then looked at the pathetically unadorned candle that I already had.  Awwwww, well that's not going to work.  So I grunged and made a mess again.  This time I was smart.  I grunged some regular tapers that didn't match my other primitive-purchased tapers.  Then, I coffee stained a few things.  Before long, I had stuff drying EVERYWHERE.  It was one of those If You Give a Moose a Muffin days (Ok, that story is really my life story, but I digress).  So, you can see in my pictures the fruit of my grungy, sticky endevours- one repaired and grunged, one grunged.  Can you spot the broken one?

     Another repair achievement I had once was repairing a yellowware bowl I'd purchased from eBay that had broken in transit. That is a story for another day, my dear readers.

Coffee Talk for Today:  What is your best "Six Million Dollar Man" restoration project.  Try to think of something that was broken and please share how you fixed it.  

Also, feel free to guess which candle is the broken one. You won't hurt my feelings if you guess correctly.  Well, not much... ;)

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